I just found some hope in life

Lately, depression has been hitting me hard. I noticed some patterns in how I looked at life that really kept be behind and I feel a lot better about myself.

The most important thing in life is to be a man. I rejected this idea at a very early age, before I was even 10. It was very limiting, and seemed pointless. I had the genitals, that makes me a "boy", doesn't it?

I figured this mostly on my own, but with the help of a number of counseling appointments. It was why people didn't seem to "like" me. Not only did I never really notice how importance it actually was to "fit in", but I was also did not give myself the opportunity to learn all the conventions of interacting with people.

And the result? People thought of me as rude, lacking empathy. Eccentric. Seemingly slow to pick up on social cues.

It doesn't have to be that way. I am a sort of person who is actually still critical of the way that norms are forced on to people, but I need to learn the rules before they are broken.

Pretty glad I am seeing a way out of my situation of being alone.